How scared we were ~ random thougths..

The thoughts that go through your head when you are faced with the unknown... When we left the hospital with Willem in July of 2005 all we knew is that the doctors did not know what was wrong with him BUT that there was something wrong!!!
I knew that i loved him!! I never doubted that... I did doubt God a bit and my mom would say that i should believe in him all the more! I questioned everything i have ever done in my life to have a child that was not "right." I cried all the time... in the beginning I know that it was hormones for sure but also a fear of the unknown and all the possibilities that could be "wrong" with him!
I remember crying that we would never be able to go on vacation again ~ or go as a family to Disney World which in hind site is quite funny to me because i am so not a Disney kind of girl... and it was all so unrealistic! ** He is 2 and has been to Florida twice (not Disney, the boys are too young) Illinois twice, Buffalo more times than i can count!! We make trips to New York City he loves the American Museum of Natural History and the Dinosaurs! There is nothing that he cannot do and i know and believe that now but we were so scared in the beginning with the unknown splashed in our faces!! Now just going to the play ground is so wonderful for so long he sat and watched and soon after he scooted around and went were ever I placed him!! AND now to see him be his own person is such a thrill!
I also remember last summer he had turned 2 and after a Yoga class of mine just crying so hard thinking how could i have a child that cannot walk? I have all of this strength and control over my body and he cannot stand up straight long enough to just walk!!!
BUT he has gotten it and I am so proud of him!!
Today we were playing with his cousins Stella and Rocco and Ben was there too and Willem was playing with them but then you'd see him have to stop and watch them run right past, as he is unable to keep up 100 percent. But he so wants to be a part of them... cognitively he is there with them, physically he is getting there and i am just so happy for him!!