Second entry.... pick up at Willems arrival...

Hello... i am going to pick up were i left off... hopefully i will get to the present sooner than later! So, we brought home this little guy who wasn't sucking and just seemed so fragile. We went to our wonderful pediatrician. Willem was 5 days old and she kept to her story she new something was wrong but could not put her finger on it. So she sent us home with a list of Neurologists to call and make an appointment. I got what i found to be ridiculous replies like we can see him in 2 months... i wanted to see some one that DAY... moment.... Finally i got the answer i wanted they would see him in a week and 2 days. I could deal with that!!
I was so excited to see the Dr. (too excited...) she looked Willem over noticed his Hypotonia (super loose muscle tone!) Took notice of our Pediatricians concerns.... BUT she did not have an answer for it either!! Looked at the MRI from birth but did not notice anything out of the ordinary either! She wanted us to start physical and speech therapy for his low muscle and lack of sucking and scheduled an EEG. So we left with NO answers... *I don't think that i mentioned yet how i had been crying for these two weeks trying to figure out what i did wrong to have a baby that "just was not right." I would go on about how i am Super healthy, my favorite foods are fruits and vegetables (and chocolate too!!) I never drank much still don't maybe a glass of wine out but oh so rare.(never during pregnancy!) Never smoked anything legal or illegal for that matter! Then i would add i even go to church on Sunday!!!! I pulled at all my pluses! *
Back to the bad Dr. day one good thing, great thing happened that day. I went to make the appointment with the Speech therapist and the therapist was not busy and said she would like to see us right then and there. (she was nervous he was maybe not eating enough was the vibe i got as to why she wanted to see us right away! - but he was) So after questioning and evaluating Willem she gave us two projects. One was to hold a pacifier in his mouth when ever we could, squeeze his cheeks and hold it in with your own finger. Second, after looking at his mouth not seeing anything structurally wrong she said to wean him off the haberman feeder. Again squeeze his cheeks to get him to close his lips around a regular bottle and don't give him a crutch, "he can do it"! Something positive said about my Willem, "he can do it"!! O.k. that gave me new faith and hope even thought the Dr. didn't so we followed her advice. *Plus - I had not given up on breast feeding him either. I was pumping milk knowing and hoping that he would figure it out and if he didn't i would just pump for the year and give it to him in the bottle knowing i wanted the best for my boy.
Ending here for today. I added pictures from August 2005 Yes Benjamin was in a cast ~ Willem with the pacifier.